Are Your 'Shoulds' and 'Musts' Sabotaging Your Diet?
When we start a dietary change process, we tend to set very rigid rules for ourselves. 'From tomorrow I won't touch carbs', 'I must not eat sweets', 'I have to exercise for an hour every day'.
These rules, characterized by words like 'should', 'must' and 'forbidden', create an illusion of control. In practice, they represent a difficult psychological trap. In the world of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), this thinking pattern is defined as dichotomous thinking—'all or nothing'.
Why Do Rigid Rules Lead to Failure?
Once we set a rigid rule ('no chocolate'), chocolate becomes a forbidden fruit and is multiple times more attractive. When we experience a hard day, fatigue, or stress, willpower weakens and we might eat a single square of chocolate.
In a flexible mindset, we would say to ourselves: 'Okay, I enjoyed a square of chocolate, now I continue my day as usual.' But in a dichotomous thinking state, the brain interprets this as a complete failure: 'The diet is ruined, I ruined everything, since I already ruined it there's no point in stopping now.' This is precisely the beginning of overeating.
How Do We Change the Thought?
- Identify rigid self-talk: Notice when you use words like 'must', 'forbidden', or 'have to' in relation to food.
- Replace with flexible rules: Instead of 'I am not allowed to eat out', try: 'I prefer to cook at home, but if I eat out, I will choose a dish that is good for me and enjoy it'.
- Practice self-compassion: Remember that the process of changing habits is a graph with ups and downs. A small slip does not define you as spineless; rather, it is a natural part of learning.
Replacing the 'should' with free and conscious choice is the first step toward truly healthy and balanced eating.